I never thought that motherhood would be for me or comprehended having a mini human to care for and look after. Nevertheless, about 18 months ago something soon switched in me and I was so excited to start trying for a baby. I had never felt so strongly about it and I think it was definitely fate as I fell pregnant almost the day we started trying.
While I had expected to be excited when I first fell pregnant, I was in shock and seeing that life inside of me for the first time was incomprehensible! I have to admit I was so scared and it became very real once we heard that heartbeat. Hearing that heartbeat for the first time was incredible, we definitely had been blessed.
Around the same time of this exciting news for our family that the first grandchild and great-grandchild was to be expected, our rock to the family, my Nan, became increasingly ill and we found out in March last year that she actually had multiple myeloma. Cancer had riddled her body and consequently, had crushed the discs in her back and eroded her vertebra. I spent several months by her hospital bedside crying and praying that she would make it, almost forgetting that I was pregnant.
She cried to me saying how excited she had been to see her first great-grandchild and how devastated she was as she was never going to be able to see her, the doctors had given her two days to live. I prayed that she’d be able to see Grace and thank the lord today she is still with us a year on! It shocked not only our family, but the doctors too. We were beyond relieved and thrilled that she is still with us today.
As my Mum suffered from post natal depression, I grew up with my Nan and Pop who have been my second parents. So the thought of her leaving us was unimaginable, especially at this time of our lives.
Before I even knew the sex of our baby and around this awful time, my Nan had a dream in hospital that we would have a girl and name her Grace! My husband and I had already agreed on the name Grace if we had a girl (no one knew this) and literally a week later (after my Nan telling me her dream) we found out we were having a girl! We named her after my Nan (Lorraine) and she is Grace Raine.
To this day, my Nan is undergoing chemotherapy and has had the doctors amazed at her determination and fighting spirit. I hope that Grace inherits that. She is an inspiration to everyone around her. I remember my Nan say that when you’re a grandparent, you live for your grandchildren and she has definitely fought to live to see her great-grandchild.
My Nan and Pop with Grace – We drove straight from the hospital I gave birth to see my Nan who was bed ridden at the time.
Forever Grace & Amy 